{"id":1383,"date":"2020-10-15T17:02:59","date_gmt":"2020-10-15T17:02:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/?p=1383"},"modified":"2021-01-02T09:26:52","modified_gmt":"2021-01-02T09:26:52","slug":"sarilmak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/?p=1383","title":{"rendered":"Sar\u0131lmak"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\" style=\"font-size:17px\"><em><span class=\"has-inline-color has-cyan-bluish-gray-color\">G\u00fczel bir \u00f6\u011fleden sonra k\u00f6pe\u011finizle bir yama\u00e7ta oturmak, d\u00fcnya \u00fczerinde cenneti ya\u015famak gibidir; hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmaman\u0131n hi\u00e7 s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve huzurun hakim oldu\u011fu cennettesiniz. <\/span><\/em><br><em><span class=\"has-inline-color has-cyan-bluish-gray-color\"><em>Milan Kundera<\/em> <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">Berrak, tertemiz hava ve tepede p\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l bir g\u00fcne\u015f \u0130stanbullular\u0131n i\u00e7ini \u0131s\u0131t\u0131rken, hen\u00fcz birka\u00e7&nbsp;hafta \u00f6nce ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m yeni evimin balkonunda kahvalt\u0131 yap\u0131yordum. Tarih 30 A\u011fustos; Zafer Bayram\u0131yd\u0131 ve resmi tatil olmas\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 kocaman, tamamen kendime ait bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn ad\u0131yd\u0131! Kahvalt\u0131dan sonra sahile inmeyi ve denizi izleyerek y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f yapmay\u0131 planl\u0131yordum. Kahvalt\u0131 masas\u0131 tastamam gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnse de ruhumu besleyen m\u00fczik olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bal\u0131n, zeytinin tad\u0131 eksik kal\u0131yordu ne yaz\u0131k ki. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcn mutlulu\u011funa uygun bir caz \u015fark\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7mak i\u00e7in telefonumu elime ald\u0131m. Fakat o da ne? Ekran\u0131m\u0131 yukar\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131r kald\u0131rmaz, daha \u00f6nceden a\u00e7\u0131k kalm\u0131\u015f bir uygulamada, kay\u0131p ya da at\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 yeni sahibini arayan bir sokak k\u00f6pe\u011fi ilan\u0131 ile kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131m! Sar\u0131, ka\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131 sanki \u00e7atmaktan iz olmu\u015f, k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 renkli ucuz ve pis tasmas\u0131 ile bir dili d\u0131\u015far\u0131da g\u00f6zlerini bana dikmi\u015fti sanki ilandaki sahipsiz k\u00f6pek. \u0130lk d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm, bulundu\u011fu adresin evime y\u00fcr\u00fcme mesafesinde oldu\u011fuydu; sonras\u0131nda da \u2018Sahiplenecek de\u011filim ya, gidip sevsem mi acaba?\u2019 diye akl\u0131mdan ge\u00e7irdim. Vazge\u00e7tim, \u2018Bir daha bu ilana denk gelirsem, belki giderim.\u2019 dedim ve h\u0131zl\u0131ca masay\u0131 toplay\u0131p; kitab\u0131m ve m\u00fczi\u011fim ile birlikte Caddebostan\u2019\u0131n \u00e7imlerine att\u0131m kendimi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6216.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1396\" width=\"366\" height=\"297\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6216.jpg 732w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6216-300x243.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6216-155x125.jpg 155w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 366px) 100vw, 366px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">Birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra muhtemelen saate bakmak ya da arayan olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kontrol etmek i\u00e7in telefonumun ekran\u0131na bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda ayn\u0131 uygulama yine a\u00e7\u0131k kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ve yine ayn\u0131 dili d\u0131\u015far\u0131da sar\u0131 k\u00f6pek, yine kapkara g\u00f6zleri dikmi\u015f bana bak\u0131yordu. Yine! Elimdeki tostu yar\u0131m b\u0131rakt\u0131m ve be\u015f dakika i\u00e7erisinde alt\u0131mda pijama \u015fortum, ellerim tost kokarken, daha sonra hayat\u0131mda kocaman hat\u0131ras\u0131 olacak ilan sahiplerinin (can\u0131m Melda ve e\u015fi Hakan abi) evlerine yol ald\u0131m.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">Sahipsiz k\u00f6pek, bah\u00e7eye giren ve daha \u00f6nce g\u00f6rmedi\u011fi bana, yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerde hi\u00e7 istifini bozmadan hafif\u00e7e g\u00f6zlerini kald\u0131rarak bakt\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcnde b\u0131kk\u0131nl\u0131k vard\u0131. Sonras\u0131nda hi\u00e7 umursamadan g\u00f6zlerini devirdi ve ba\u011fl\u0131 oldu\u011fu a\u011fac\u0131n dibine biraz daha yerle\u015fti. Yan\u0131na gittim, tam \u00f6n\u00fcne ba\u011fda\u015f kurup oturdum. O bana bakt\u0131 ve acemice, ka\u00e7amak dolu \u00e7ekti g\u00f6zlerini; ben ise ona uzun uzun bakt\u0131m. Bak\u0131\u015ft\u0131k; bir anl\u0131k, belki saniyenin bile daha az\u0131. Dedim \u2018Bu benim eve gelsin mi?\u2019 Ne tasmam var ne de su verecek bir kab\u0131m.. Sevgili Melda ve Hakan Abi kahvalt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yar\u0131m b\u0131rakt\u0131, hep birlikte sahipsiz k\u00f6pe\u011fi k\u0131s\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131rmaya g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fck.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">Bir g\u00fcn sonra sahipsiz, kara g\u00f6zl\u00fc k\u00f6pek ve ben, biraz \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n biraz korkak evin sokak kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde yan yana duruyorduk. T\u00fcm odalar\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n kapal\u0131 oldu\u011fu, parkelerin tamam\u0131m\u0131n gazete ka\u011f\u0131tlar\u0131 ile kapland\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve u\u00e7mas\u0131n diye bantlar ile tutturuldu\u011fu evimize ilk ad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 att\u0131k. Ben bilmiyordum ki eve \u00e7i\u015f mi yapar ya da sinirlenir bana sald\u0131r\u0131r, \u0131s\u0131r\u0131r m\u0131? O g\u00fcne kadar hi\u00e7bir k\u00f6pe\u011fe dokunmam\u0131\u015f, hi\u00e7bir k\u00f6pe\u011fin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 dahi sevmemi\u015ftim ki ben; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc korkuyordum! Ve o an, g\u00fcn\u00fcn bitip, havan\u0131n kararmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir zamanda  huyunu suyunu bilmedi\u011fim ve \u00f6lesiye korktu\u011fum bir k\u00f6pek ile ayn\u0131 evde yaln\u0131zd\u0131m.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">\u0130lk gece eve al\u0131\u015fma s\u00fcrecinde yan\u0131nda olay\u0131m diye salon kanepesini yata\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrd\u00fcm; ben oturur pozisyonda koltu\u011fun tepesine t\u00fcnerken, yepyeni bir eve gelmi\u015f ve bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce ameliyat olmu\u015f sahipsiz k\u00f6pek odan\u0131n \u00f6b\u00fcr ucundaki k\u00f6\u015feye sindi. Bir o bana ka\u00e7amak bak\u0131yor, bir ben ona dikiyorum korku ile g\u00f6zlerimi. Sabaha kadar ne ben ne de o hi\u00e7 uyumadan ve hi\u00e7 yakla\u015fmadan, birbirimizi \u00f6l\u00e7en g\u00f6zlerle bak\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Ay\u0131n \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 salona vururken, sabah ezan\u0131 okunmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Sahipsiz k\u00f6pek birden \u00e7\u0131kan y\u00fcksek sesle irkildi ve z\u0131plad\u0131. Aya\u011fa kalkarken kuyru\u011funun ucu evin yere kadar uzanan perdesine dokundu ve ayn\u0131 anda kayg\u0131 dolu g\u00f6zlerle bana bakt\u0131! G\u00f6zlerinde korkuyu ve vuracak ya da k\u0131zacak m\u0131y\u0131m diye tedirginli\u011fi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm o an! Benim endi\u015femin katbekat\u0131n\u0131 saatlerdir onun ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve dayak yemekten korktu\u011fu ger\u00e7e\u011fi bir tokat gibi y\u00fcz\u00fcmde patlad\u0131. Ne ara o kanepeden bozma yataktan kalkt\u0131m, ne ara g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m yanaklar\u0131mdan akmaya ba\u015flad\u0131, ne ara salonun \u00f6b\u00fcr ucuna gidip k\u00f6pe\u011fin tam kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na oturdum hat\u0131rlam\u0131yorum. Sadece h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011flarken, \u2018Seni asla b\u0131rakmayaca\u011f\u0131m, sen art\u0131k bu aileye aitsin\u2019 dedi\u011fim kald\u0131 akl\u0131mda. Ve o an bir mucize oldu. Korkmu\u015f, asla kimseye yakla\u015fmayan k\u00f6pek iki \u00f6n patisini \u00fcrkek\u00e7e yerden kald\u0131rd\u0131 ve omzuma koydu. Kendi limitleri dahilinde sar\u0131ld\u0131 bana! Sessiz a\u011flamalar\u0131m h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrken; benim boynuma, kalbime s\u0131\u011f\u0131nan sahipsiz k\u00f6pe\u011fin ad\u0131 o gece Hug (sar\u0131lmak) oldu.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">\u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yle ba\u015flad\u0131 bizim hikayemiz Hug ile.. Zamanla evlad\u0131m oldu, do\u011fursam ancak bu kadar sevebilirim. Benim i\u00e7in korumak, sevmek, g\u00fcvenmek kelimelerinin can bulmu\u015f, ete kemi\u011fe b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f hali oldu. Hayat\u0131mda ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fcy\u00fck kararlar\u0131m\u0131n (o bilmese de) vesilesi ve g\u00fc\u00e7 kayna\u011f\u0131 oldu. \u00c7evremdekiler Hug\u2019\u0131n \u00e7ok \u015fansl\u0131 oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yleseler de asl\u0131nda bilmiyorlar ki bu ili\u015fkideki \u015fansl\u0131 olan taraf benim! Bug\u00fcn geriye d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda Hug beni de\u011fi\u015ftirdi, a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a s\u00f6yleyebilirim ki daha anlay\u0131\u015fl\u0131 ve iyi biri yapt\u0131. \u00d6yle ki hayat\u0131m\u0131n en iyi, en g\u00fczel, en mutlu, en ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131, en zengin, \u2018en, en, en\u2019 olmas\u0131 i\u00e7in u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir d\u00f6neminde tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ben Hug ile. Dahas\u0131, bu \u2018En\u2019 ve \u2018Kusursuz\u2019 alg\u0131m\u0131n ne yaz\u0131k ki fark\u0131nda bile olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan, bu h\u0131rs\u0131n ruh ve bedenimde yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 kocaman tahribat izlerini de g\u00f6remiyordum. Galiba en \u00e7ok Hug\u2019\u0131n kusursuz olmamas\u0131n\u0131 sevdim ben. Cins olmamas\u0131n\u0131, hala en ufak sesten korkmas\u0131n\u0131, y\u0131llard\u0131r tam olarak g\u00f6z\u00fcme bakamamas\u0131n\u0131, ge\u00e7mi\u015finde yedi\u011fi dayaklardan dolay\u0131 insanlar\u0131n uza\u011f\u0131ndan dolanmas\u0131n\u0131 sevdim. \u0130\u00e7indeki kusursuz olmayan, yoksun \u00e7ocu\u011fu sevdim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben Hug ile \u00f6\u011frendim ki kusursuzluk hastal\u0131kl\u0131 bir istek ve asl\u0131nda \u00e7ok kusurlu; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7ekte \u00f6yle bir \u015fey yok.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery columns-3 is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\"><ul class=\"blocks-gallery-grid\"><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"755\" src=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6270-2.jpg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"1415\" data-full-url=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6270-2.jpg\" data-link=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/sarilmak\/img_6270-2\/\" class=\"wp-image-1415\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6270-2.jpg 750w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6270-2-298x300.jpg 298w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6270-2-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"758\" src=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6272-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"1417\" data-full-url=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6272-1.jpg\" data-link=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/sarilmak\/img_6272-1\/\" class=\"wp-image-1417\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6272-1.jpg 750w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6272-1-297x300.jpg 297w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"752\" src=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6273-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"1418\" data-full-url=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6273-1.jpg\" data-link=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/sarilmak\/img_6273-1\/\" class=\"wp-image-1418\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6273-1.jpg 750w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6273-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6273-1-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"748\" src=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6274-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"1419\" data-full-url=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6274-1.jpg\" data-link=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/sarilmak\/img_6274-1\/\" class=\"wp-image-1419\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6274-1.jpg 750w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6274-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6274-1-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"748\" src=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6275-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"1420\" data-full-url=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6275-1.jpg\" data-link=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/sarilmak\/img_6275-1\/\" class=\"wp-image-1420\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6275-1.jpg 750w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6275-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6275-1-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"751\" src=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6276-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"1421\" data-full-url=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6276-1.jpg\" data-link=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/sarilmak\/img_6276-1\/\" class=\"wp-image-1421\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6276-1.jpg 750w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6276-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_6276-1-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><\/ul><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">Tabi uyan\u0131k oldu\u011fu t\u00fcm zamanlarda kendini sevdirmek isteyen ve di\u015flerini g\u00f6stererek g\u00fclebilen (Kime \u00e7ekti hi\u00e7 anlam\u0131yorum\ud83d\ude48) bu \u00e7ocuktan \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim ve hayat\u0131m\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftiren ba\u015fka \u015feyler de var. Asl\u0131nda hayat\u0131m\u0131z basit ya\u015famaya \u00f6yle gebe ve e\u011fer sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yerindeyse \u00f6yle kolay ki! Hug\u2019\u0131n bir k\u00f6pek olarak ya\u015fama \u015fekli asl\u0131nda tam da bu noktada g\u00fczellik kat\u0131yor hayat\u0131ma. Mesela \u2018G\u00fcne ba\u015flarken yataktan hemen \u00e7\u0131kma Burcu, kendine zaman ay\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve s\u0131cac\u0131k yata\u011f\u0131nda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n birka\u00e7 germe hareketinin g\u00fcn i\u00e7indeki motivasyonunu artt\u0131rmas\u0131na izin ver. Ya da d\u0131\u015far\u0131da, araban\u0131n i\u00e7inde y\u00fcz\u00fcne vuran g\u00fcne\u015f, r\u00fczg\u00e2r ve tertemiz havan\u0131n keyfini delicesine \u00e7\u0131kar; o an g\u00f6zlerini k\u0131s ve zevkten d\u00f6rt k\u00f6\u015fe olmu\u015f halde s\u0131k s\u0131k nefes al. G\u00fcn i\u00e7inde ka\u00e7amaklar yap, can\u0131na iyi gelecek, 10-15 dakikal\u0131k uyuklamalar\u0131n tad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kart; hatta s\u0131cak bir g\u00fcnde hayat\u0131na k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir mola verip s\u0131rt \u00fcst\u00fc \u00e7imlere uzanman\u0131n nas\u0131l bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu unutmayacak kadar s\u0131k yap bunu. Hi\u00e7bir e\u011flence ve mutlu olma f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131rma, mesela hayat\u0131nda mutlu oldu\u011fun minicik bir an bile oldu\u011funda, kafandan ayaklar\u0131na kadar t\u00fcm v\u00fccudunla z\u0131pla, dans et ya da\u00a0kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p odaya sevdi\u011fin biri geldi\u011finde ona do\u011fru ko\u015f, sar\u0131l, hatta ne\u015fe ile \u00fcst\u00fcne atla. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n sana dokunmas\u0131na izin ver Burcu; hatta bir s\u00fcredir kalbine dokunmuyorlarsa, git yanlar\u0131na ve ellerini kendi v\u00fccudunun \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7ek. \u2018Ben buraday\u0131m, benimle ilgilen!\u2019 demekten \u00e7ekinme. Ama bir kere can\u0131na dokunmu\u015f bir insana kar\u015f\u0131 da hep sadakatli ol; onu terk etme, ondan vazge\u00e7me, hata yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7ekip gitmek yerine sessizce yan\u0131nda dur. Belki tart\u0131\u015fma anlar\u0131n\u0131zda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir h\u0131rlama yeterli ise kocaman di\u015flerini g\u00f6sterip, onu \u0131s\u0131rma. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onun, art\u0131k ruhuna dokundu\u011funu ve bir oldu\u011funuzu kabul et. E\u011fer ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n hayatta seni mutlu edece\u011fine inand\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve \u00e7ok istedi\u011fin bir \u015fey varsa; o ne kadar derinde g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fc olursa olsun, onu bulana kadar asla pes etme. Hatta ellerin toza topra\u011fa bulanana kadar kaz. Tabii ki yorulacaks\u0131n, o zaman da g\u00f6lgeye s\u0131\u011f\u0131n, biraz su i\u00e7 ve kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n yerden kazmaya devam et. M\u00fckafat\u0131na ula\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131ndaysa en ba\u015fa d\u00f6n ve oldu\u011fun yerde ba\u015f\u0131n d\u00f6nene kadar kendi etraf\u0131nda z\u0131pla!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:15px\">Naif\u00e7e sevmeyi de, sevdi\u011fin i\u00e7in sava\u015fmay\u0131 da bu \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00f6\u011fretmenli\u011finde \u00f6\u011frendim ben. Bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131 yazarken biliyorum ki, hayatta herkes ama herkes gitse bile ben yaln\u0131z de\u011filim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc Hug beni b\u0131rak\u0131p gitmez. Bir insan\u0131n hayat\u0131nda b\u00f6ylesine sevilmek ve g\u00fcvenebilmek nas\u0131l da b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u00f6zg\u00fcven nedeni. Hayattaki en b\u00fcy\u00fck ba\u015far\u0131n ne deseler; Hug\u2019\u0131 s\u00f6ylerim herhalde. Ad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeki d\u00fcnyevi unvanlar\u0131n hepsi anl\u0131k; k\u0131ymetli olan g\u00fcven, sa\u011fl\u0131k, can ve bir kere geldi\u011fimiz bu hayat\u0131n tad\u0131n\u0131 sonuna kadar \u00e7\u0131kartmak. Ben, Hug\u2019\u0131 incinmi\u015f, b\u0131km\u0131\u015f ve mutsuz g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm o ilk an sevdim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o zaman her ne kadar bir haber olsam da bundan, asl\u0131nda ona bakarken g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kendi ruhumdu! Birlikte b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc canlar\u0131m\u0131z; beni sakinle\u015ftirdi, defolar\u0131m\u0131 fark etmeme vesile oldu.. \u0130yi ki de oldu\u00a0\ud83d\udc95\u00a0O hep olsun, hayat\u0131mda hep var olsun. Kocaman kalbi, durmadan g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc ve hi\u00e7 bitmeyen kendini sevdirme iste\u011fi ile Hug\u2019\u0131 \u00e7ok basit\u00e7e, t\u00fcm kalbimle, g\u00fcven dolu seviyorum. Daha birbirimizden \u00f6\u011frenece\u011fimiz onlarca \u015fey, omuz omuza ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kocaman bir hayat var! Bize m\u00fcsaade, d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki bu g\u00fczel sonbahar havas\u0131n\u0131n tad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kartmaya parka gidiyoruz biz; hayat\u0131n her an\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015famaya, ne\u015fe i\u00e7inde z\u0131plamaya, gerekti\u011fi anlarda sessizce yan yana durup iyile\u015fmeye gidiyoruz. Ben sizi sevgi ile \u00f6perken; Hug berbat kokan a\u011fz\u0131 ve salyal\u0131 dili ile (muhtemelen siz daha fazla dayanamay\u0131p, onu itene kadar) sizi yal\u0131yor!\u00a0\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 seviniz, hepsini; hem iki hem de d\u00f6rt ayakl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131! \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc inan\u0131yorum ki hepsinin d\u00fcnyam\u0131za geli\u015f nedeni, bizi iyile\u015ftirmek ve bizi daha mutlu biri yapmak!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size\"><em>Ekim 2020, Ankara<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size\"><em><strong>Yaz\u0131 bittikten 2 g\u00fcn sonra not:<\/strong> Bu yaz\u0131 yaz\u0131l\u0131rken Cem\u2019e k\u0131rg\u0131nd\u0131m, o nedenle elim onunla ilgili bir an\u0131y\u0131 anlatmaya ne yaz\u0131k ki gitmedi. Fakat bu anl\u0131k k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n, onun Hug\u2019\u0131n t\u00fcm s\u00fcre\u00e7lerinde bana deste\u011finin ve her ko\u015fulda yan\u0131mda olmas\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne ge\u00e7memeli diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Cem&#8217;in varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmasayd\u0131, ben tek ba\u015f\u0131ma Hug\u2019\u0131 sahiplenmeye asla cesaret edemezdim. \u0130ki o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011fu da iyi ki varlar! (Say\u0131n Cem Koray \u00c7ataro\u011flu sonradan gelen bu ekleme asla bir alttan alma de\u011fildir; tam olarak Sezar\u2019\u0131n hakk\u0131 Sezar\u2019a durumudur. Sizi de \u00f6periz fakat hemen \u015f\u0131marmay\u0131n\u0131z, affetmedik hen\u00fcz!<\/em>\ud83d\ude09)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p class=\"text-justify\">G\u00fczel bir \u00f6\u011fleden sonra k\u00f6pe\u011finizle bir yama\u00e7ta oturmak, d\u00fcnya \u00fczerinde cenneti ya\u015famak gibidir; hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmaman\u0131n hi\u00e7 s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve huzurun hakim oldu\u011fu cennetesiniz. &#8211; Milan Kundera<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1386,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1383"}],"version-history":[{"count":31,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1643,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383\/revisions\/1643"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}