{"id":1889,"date":"2021-06-18T11:57:54","date_gmt":"2021-06-18T11:57:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/?p=1889"},"modified":"2021-06-19T11:26:33","modified_gmt":"2021-06-19T11:26:33","slug":"yagmur","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/?p=1889","title":{"rendered":"Ya\u011fmur"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

May\u0131s ay\u0131n\u0131n sonlar\u0131na do\u011fruydu; \u015fiddetle cama vuran ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131n\u0131n sesine uyand\u0131m. \u015eak\u0131r \u015fak\u0131r su sesi! O g\u00fczelim r\u00fcyamdaki hi\u00e7 durmadan akan b\u00fcy\u00fcleyici sular gibi\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00d6yle g\u00fczel ya\u011f\u0131yor ki ya\u011fmur! Her yer, t\u00fcm mahalle, t\u00fcm \u015fehir, t\u00fcm \u00fclke temizleniyor sanki. Al eline koca bir f\u0131r\u00e7a, t\u00fcm \u00fclkeyi fo\u015fur fo\u015fur y\u0131ka! T\u00fcm pislik, tecav\u00fcz, \u015fiddet, kahrolas\u0131 ekonomi, koku\u015fmu\u015f zihniyet hepsini yuma. Hatta \u00e7itile; pislikleri birbirine kar\u0131\u015fs\u0131n sonra da kendi i\u00e7inde bo\u011fulsun; sonu\u00e7ta d\u00fcnya mis gibi, tertermiz bir yere d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fs\u00fcn. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Su sesini duyunca ne uyku kald\u0131 bende ne de r\u00fcya! F\u0131rlad\u0131m yataktan; \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131ktan ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilemez haldeyim. Y\u0131llar sonra resmen ve ger\u00e7ekten \u015fahane bir ya\u011fmur bu! Art\u0131k insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n cezaland\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131 bitti mi ne? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu lanetin tam olarak ne zaman ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemem \u00e7ok zor. Zira yava\u015f yava\u015f ba\u015flad\u0131, t\u0131pk\u0131 bir kurba\u011fan\u0131n s\u0131cak suya al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 gibiydi her \u015fey. Biz d\u00fcnyan\u0131n dengesi ile oynad\u0131k\u00e7a, \u00f6nce uyard\u0131 bizi fakat biz umursamad\u0131k. Sanki sonsuz bir kaynak var ve bizi, bizden sonrakini, hatta ondan sonrakini bile ya\u015fat\u0131r sand\u0131k. Hata yapt\u0131k!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir insana vur bakal\u0131m. \u0130lk vuru\u015fta belki \u015fa\u015f\u0131r\u0131r, tepki veremez. Sonrakine ak\u0131llan\u0131r o da sana vurur. Sen ars\u0131zca \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc kez vurmaya kalk\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan da ya senin ellerini ba\u011flar ya da kendi oradan ka\u00e7ar. Bizim d\u00fcnyam\u0131z \u00f6yle \u015fefkatliydi ki hepsini denedi, bizim t\u00fcm hoyratl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131za sakince sinyaller verdi ama sonra dayanamad\u0131 kapatt\u0131 kendini, k\u00fcst\u00fc insanl\u0131\u011fa. Ne g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011fdu bir daha ne ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131 ne de ye\u015fil a\u00e7t\u0131 buralarda. O kendini kapatt\u0131k\u00e7a biz daha da k\u00f6t\u00fcle\u015ftik. Sonu\u00e7? Nefes alamayan insanlar, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sanarak hayat\u0131na devam etti. Orman olmadan, taze \u00e7imen koklamadan, toprakta y\u00fcr\u00fcmeden ya\u015famay\u0131 hayat sand\u0131k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aman y\u0131llar sonra g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden su damlalar\u0131 ak\u0131yor, daha fazla d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyece\u011fim ge\u00e7mi\u015fi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Banyodan plastik, \u015feffaf renkte bir le\u011fen kapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m gibi at\u0131yorum kendimi soka\u011fa. \u0130\u00e7imde delice bir sevin\u00e7 var, uzun zamand\u0131r hissetmedi\u011fim bir umut. Her yeri y\u0131kayaca\u011f\u0131m bu g\u00f6kten akan fa\u011fal fa\u011fal su ile. Sa\u011fanak ya\u011fmurun alt\u0131nda \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla dururken, bir yandan da \u00e7evreyi incelemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorum. Ne y\u00fczs\u00fcz \u015fey \u015fu umut! Ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131 ya, gayri ihtiyari \u015fehrin grili\u011finin i\u00e7inde ye\u015fillik ar\u0131yor g\u00f6zlerim. Hani bir zamanlar ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda mis gibi kokan, ye\u015fille\u015fen, canlanan, pervas\u0131zca boynunu uzatan, capcanl\u0131, koyu, derin bir ye\u015fillik. Birden i\u00e7imdeki su sevincine, engel olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir s\u0131z\u0131, derin bir do\u011fa \u00f6zlemi kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor. Ka\u00e7 y\u0131l oldu o ye\u015filli\u011fi g\u00f6rmeyeli, bir yapra\u011fa dokunmayal\u0131? Zaman ne ac\u0131mas\u0131z, saymay\u0131 bile b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 fark ediyorum. Zira evimin yan\u0131ndaki minnac\u0131k parkta bile ye\u015fillik yerine her yerde beton, belediyenin tahta ve pasl\u0131 demir kar\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131 banklar\u0131 var. Her sabah \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7erken ye\u015fil yerine bu boktan bank\u0131 g\u00f6rmek zorunda oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in okkal\u0131 bir k\u00fcf\u00fcr patlatan ben, bug\u00fcn ve \u015fu an bu bank\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na dahi ald\u0131rm\u0131yorum. Ald\u0131rmamaya kararl\u0131y\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc umudum var. Ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131 ya, gerisi de gelecek. \u0130nan\u0131yorum ki renkler her \u015feye ra\u011fmen canlanacak, toprak yeniden \u00e7imen kokacak ve bu g\u00fczelim ya\u011fmur t\u00fcm o pis griyi silip atacak. \u00c7ocuklu\u011fumda \u015fahit oldu\u011fum koyu ye\u015fil do\u011fa yeniden canlanacak. En g\u00fczel g\u00fcnler ya\u011fmurlu g\u00fcnlerdir, oley!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya\u011fmurun alt\u0131nda, g\u00f6zlerim kapal\u0131, kollar\u0131m\u0131 iki yana a\u00e7arak dikilmek; s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam olmu\u015f sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131n yanaklar\u0131ma, boynuma, bedenime yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetmek kadar \u015fahane bir his olamaz. Sanki t\u00fcm bu mahalle, \u015fehir ve \u00fclke ile birlikte; birey olarak ben de temizleniyorum. \u00d6nyarg\u0131lar\u0131m, korkular\u0131m, gelecek endi\u015felerim, ge\u00e7mi\u015fimle kavgalar\u0131m hepsi akm\u0131\u015f gitmi\u015f eteklerimden. Eteklerimin ucu kirlendik\u00e7e sanki ruhum temizleniyor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131yorum ki herkes atm\u0131\u015f benim gibi kendini soka\u011fa. Herkesin elinde bir le\u011fen, bir f\u0131r\u00e7a. Herkes kendi evinin \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc temizleyecek. Bu sefer t\u00fcm \u00fclkenin pisli\u011fi akacak eteklerinden. \u00dclkenin eteklerinin ucu kirlendik\u00e7e bu sefer i\u00e7i temizlenecek sanki. G\u00f6zlerim kapal\u0131. \u00dcst\u00fcm s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam ve a\u011fz\u0131mdan y\u00fcksek sesle \u2018Ha gayret\u2019 d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcyor. Birden kendi sesimden irkilip, g\u00f6zlerimi a\u00e7\u0131yorum. Bir bak\u0131yorum ki herkes bana bak\u0131yor. Ya da bana m\u0131 \u00f6yle geldi acaba? Y\u0131llar\u0131n lanetinin tedirginli\u011fi \u00fcst\u00fcme yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum ve i\u00e7imden kocaman bir \u2018Aman be baks\u0131nlar! Bakarlarsa baks\u0131nlar.\u2019 ge\u00e7iyor.  Zira herkes sevin\u00e7 i\u00e7inde.. Ya\u011fmurun ne\u015fesi ile caddelerde \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131n gibi araba kullanan \u015fof\u00f6rlerin s\u0131\u00e7ratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7amurlu sular\u0131, yayalar kahkaha ve dans e\u015fli\u011finde kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131yor; herkes nas\u0131l g\u00fczel bir ahenk ve anlay\u0131\u015f i\u00e7inde. Uzun zamand\u0131r hissedilen egoist ve bencilli\u011fin yerini ortak bir ne\u015fe alm\u0131\u015f. Herkesin amac\u0131 ayn\u0131. Herkes ayn\u0131 gemide ve ayn\u0131 yolun yolcusu oldu\u011funu nihayetinde anlam\u0131\u015f. Bu pislikten sadece tek y\u00fcrek, tek beden ve p\u00fcr ne\u015fe olabilirsek \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ayr\u0131m\u0131nda! Sonunda! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aaa kahkahalarla g\u00fclen ve \u00e7ocuk gibi sular\u0131n i\u00e7inde debelenen \u015fu kad\u0131n yan apartmandaki huysuz teyze de\u011fil mi? Ne yap\u0131yor b\u00f6yle? Bir elinde de koyu mavi, yer yer rengi a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f le\u011fenini s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131 tutmu\u015f. Bir tek o mu? Herkes bir hallerde ve herkesin bir umut \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi tutundu\u011fu plastik, rengarenk le\u011fenleri ellerinde.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bunu ya\u015famak \u00f6yle ho\u015f bir \u015fey ki! \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc b\u00f6yle bir beraberlik havas\u0131 bug\u00fcne kadar, ancak ortak bir d\u00fc\u015fman s\u00f6z konusu oldu\u011funda olu\u015furdu. Mesela bizi mahvetmek isteyen d\u00fc\u015fman g\u00fc\u00e7ler ya da bizi b\u00f6lmek isteyen ba\u015fka \u00fclkeler ya da d\u00fc\u015fman bir futbol tak\u0131m\u0131. Bizim d\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda herkes zaten d\u00fc\u015fman, herkes bize kar\u015f\u0131; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizi k\u0131skan\u0131yorlar! \u2013 Bizim gibi \u2018lanetlileri\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yok, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyece\u011fim bunlar\u0131. Yeter. Bir ad\u0131m geriye g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyorum d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimi. Nerede kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m? Ah evet! Salt ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131 diye b\u00f6ylesine ars\u0131zca ya\u015fama sevinciyle dolan insanlar\u0131n birbirine kenetlenmesi harika bir \u015fey! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tam bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce karma\u015fam\u0131n aras\u0131nda bir hareketlenme oluyor mahallede. Az \u00f6nce mutluluktan \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar atan insanlar\u0131n baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u2018Tutun, tutun yakalay\u0131n, ka\u00e7\u0131yor!\u2019 diye ba\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131yorlar. Herkesin ko\u015ftu\u011fu tarafa bak\u0131yorum, minik bir kedi yavrusu. 1-2 ayl\u0131k var yok. Kulaklar\u0131 kocaman, burnu pembe, d\u00fcnyada kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yer avu\u00e7 i\u00e7i kadar. O da susuzlu\u011funu gidermek i\u00e7in herkes gibi ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f. Ellerinde umut niyetine s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131ya tuttuklar\u0131 le\u011fenleri ile d\u00fcnyay\u0131 temizleyecek mahallenin insanlar\u0131 kahkahalar aras\u0131nda yakal\u0131yor minnac\u0131\u011f\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sanki o an karn\u0131ma \u2018gumb\u2019 diye bir g\u00fclle yiyorum. Kan\u0131m\u0131n dondu\u011funu hissediyorum. G\u00f6zlerimi kapatsam \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k, a\u00e7sam g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fc i\u00e7imi par\u00e7al\u0131yor. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilemez haldeyim. Yapmay\u0131n, ne olur; hi\u00e7 de\u011filse d\u00fcnyay\u0131 y\u0131kayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, tertemiz yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bu ya\u011fmurlu, g\u00fczel g\u00fcnde yapmay\u0131n. Ne olur inanc\u0131m\u0131z olsun, bug\u00fcn farkl\u0131 olsun. Y\u0131llar sonra ilk kez ya\u011fmur bizi onurland\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, bari bu umut dolu ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7 g\u00fcn\u00fcnde yapmay\u0131n. \u0130\u00e7inizdeki \u015feytan\u0131 dizginleyin, biraz olsun tutun onu, kontrol edin.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler ile bo\u011fu\u015furken, \u015feytanlardan biri mini\u011fin kafas\u0131n\u0131 tutuyor, \u00e7arp\u0131yor yere be\u015f y\u00fcz graml\u0131k bedenini. T\u00fcyleri \u0131slan\u0131yor kedinin, soka\u011f\u0131n \u00e7amuruna bulan\u0131yor. Beyaz t\u00fcyleri siyah olmu\u015f minnac\u0131\u011f\u0131n. Sonra var g\u00fcc\u00fcyle kafas\u0131na bast\u0131r\u0131yor \u015feytan, 45 numara koca ayaklar\u0131yla. Bir yandan bast\u0131r\u0131yor, bir yandan da zafer naralar\u0131 mahalleyi kapl\u0131yor. Az \u00f6nceki sevin\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n yerini, \u015feytan sesleri kapl\u0131yor.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu arada ya\u011fmur hen\u00fcz g\u00f6rmedi galiba ya\u015fananlar\u0131, yoksa hala ya\u011far m\u0131yd\u0131 b\u00f6yle t\u00fcm \u015fiddeti ile? G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bakan y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc yere indiriyorum. Minnac\u0131\u011f\u0131n kafas\u0131, bedeni kanlar i\u00e7inde. Siyah\u0131n yerini k\u0131z\u0131l renk alm\u0131\u015f bu sefer de. \u0130\u00e7inde durduklar\u0131 berrak, \u015feffaf su birikintisi k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131ya boyan\u0131yor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya\u011fmur azald\u0131. (Durma, ne olur durma)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daha da yava\u015flad\u0131. (G\u00f6rme, l\u00fctfen g\u00f6rme! Bakma bu tarafa, hatta kapat g\u00f6zlerini)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Art\u0131k eski \u015fiddetinde vurmuyor evlerin camlar\u0131na, mahallenin asfalt\u0131na. (Durdu!)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daha m\u0131 gri oldu \u015fehir yine? (Hem ses hem de damlalar durdu.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Midem. (\u00d6yle k\u00fct diye, birden durdu. Herhalde g\u00f6r\u00fcnce dayanamad\u0131.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Midem a\u011fr\u0131maya ba\u015flad\u0131 yine, y\u0131llard\u0131r ge\u00e7meyen bu kronik a\u011fr\u0131. (Lanetlendik.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Su birikintileri yava\u015f yava\u015f k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131. (Y\u0131llard\u0131r insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n var olan laneti n\u00fcksedecek.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Midem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben elimde plastik, \u015feffaf le\u011fenimle kalakal\u0131yorum kocaman, gri soka\u011f\u0131n ortas\u0131nda, k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 su birikintilerinde. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ellerime bak\u0131yorum, az biraz \u0131slak. Y\u00fcz\u00fcme s\u00fcr\u00fcyorum elimi. Sanki az \u00f6nce ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m o g\u00fczel an\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kendime kan\u0131tlamak istercesine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sonra y\u0131l\u0131yorum. Anl\u0131yorum nas\u0131l bir yerde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ve neden lanetlendi\u011fimizi.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yorgun ad\u0131mlarla eve geri d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ev, y\u0131llard\u0131r varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00fcnyam. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

28 May\u0131s, Cuma. 
Olimpos. Ye\u015fillikler i\u00e7inde bir bah\u00e7edeyim.
\u00c7imenler \u0131slak. Yerlerde le\u011fen niyetine hayvanlar su i\u00e7sin diye kilden kaplar var. 
Evim uzak. Geri d\u00f6nmeyece\u011fim eve.  <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

May\u0131s ay\u0131n\u0131n sonlar\u0131na do\u011fruydu; \u015fiddetle cama vuran ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131n\u0131n sesine uyand\u0131m. \u015eak\u0131r \u015fak\u0131r su sesi! O g\u00fczelim r\u00fcyamdaki hi\u00e7 durmadan akan b\u00fcy\u00fcleyici […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1893,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1889"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1904,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889\/revisions\/1904"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1893"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}