Herkesin kendine yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 kusursuz bir ka\u00e7ma alan\u0131 var bence. Ger\u00e7ek olmayan ama kozas\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inde kendini \u2018oldu\u011fu gibi\u2019 ve konforlu hissetti\u011fi. Hi\u00e7bir maskesini takmak zorunda olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve omuzundaki zorunlu apoletlerden feragat etti\u011fi. \u00c7\u0131plak. \u00c7\u0131r\u0131l\u00e7\u0131plak kalabildi\u011fi. Kendi olabildi\u011fi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Herkesin bir kusursuz d\u00fcnyas\u0131 var. Belki o d\u00fcnyay\u0131 her hayal etti\u011finde, ge\u00e7mi\u015finde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir yer ile imgeledi\u011fi.. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Benim kusursuz d\u00fcnyamda ise bir \u00e7ay\u0131r var. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ye\u015fil. Kocaman. G\u00f6z alabildi\u011fine ye\u015fil.. \u00d6yle bir \u00e7ay\u0131r ki bu, daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 g\u00f6rmedim ama biliyorum ki o koca ye\u015fil \u00e7ay\u0131r benim i\u00e7imde, tamamen bana ait. Benim kusursuz d\u00fcnyamda var olabilecek kadar ger\u00e7ek. \u0130mgelerden uzak, i\u00e7imden kalbimden gibi. Her kendimi s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f hissetti\u011fimde r\u00fczgar\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m. Yaln\u0131z olabildi\u011fim ama asla yaln\u0131z hissetmedi\u011fim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7\u0131plakl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 yalayan r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n, a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n dallar\u0131nda dans etti\u011fi. Fazla heyecanlan\u0131p, ko\u015fup, kendimden bile uzakla\u015f\u0131nca yine ayn\u0131 r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n beni \u0131sl\u0131klar\u0131 ile merkezime geri \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131. Bana kim oldu\u011fumu hat\u0131rlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131.. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7ay\u0131r\u0131n kenar\u0131ndaki durgun g\u00f6letin \u00fczerine benek benek \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131n d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc. Demek ki gece! Ama \u00f6yle bir gece ki kalbimdeki, hep parlak hep \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131. Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde hep p\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l ayd\u0131nl\u0131k. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u011fa\u00e7lar var. \u00c7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck. \u00c7ok ha\u015fmetli ve her biri dimdik hayatta. Dallar\u0131n\u0131 uzatm\u0131\u015f, geni\u015fletmi\u015f. B\u00fcy\u00fcmez, olmaz, k\u00f6klenmez diyenlere inat, daha da yapraklanm\u0131\u015f. Yemye\u015fil, kal\u0131n g\u00f6vdeli a\u011fa\u00e7lar. T\u0131rmansam beni ta\u015f\u0131r, \u00f6yle b\u00fcy\u00fck. Bulunduklar\u0131n\u0131 yeri sahiplenircesine k\u00f6kleri ile topra\u011f\u0131 sar\u0131p sarmalam\u0131\u015f, tek tek, koca c\u00fcsseli, yemye\u015fil a\u011fa\u00e7lar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d6yle geni\u015f ki dallar\u0131 \/ yapraklar\u0131, alt\u0131ndaki d\u00fcnyaya g\u00f6lge yap\u0131yor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Benim d\u00fcnyama. Benim kusursuz d\u00fcnyama. \u00c7ay\u0131r\u0131ma, \u00e7imenlerime hep g\u00f6lge sa\u011fl\u0131yor. Koruyor kavurucu g\u00fcne\u015ften.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve ben, de\u011fer verdi\u011fim her \u015feyin bulundu\u011fu o yerde; senden kalan t\u00fcm an\u0131lar\u0131 sakl\u0131yorum. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve kendi ger\u00e7ekli\u011fimin \u00e7amurunda, sevgi dolu g\u00f6zlerinden uzakta, donakalm\u0131\u015f bir \u015fekilde bulunca kendimi; eminim ki buraya d\u00f6nece\u011fim. S\u0131\u011f\u0131nak gibi, buraya sokaca\u011f\u0131m ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131. \u00c7\u0131plak ayaklar\u0131mla bu yemye\u015fil \u00e7ay\u0131r\u0131n \u00fczerinde durup, g\u00f6zlerimi kapataca\u011f\u0131m ve seni tan\u0131m\u0131\u015f olman\u0131n m\u00fckemmeliyeti ile kendimi avutaca\u011f\u0131m. Yaln\u0131z bana ait oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bu \u00e7ay\u0131r\u0131, senin an\u0131lar\u0131nla dolduraca\u011f\u0131m. Hi\u00e7 gitmesinler, hep kals\u0131nlar ve kendi ger\u00e7ekli\u011fimin \u00e7amurunda bana yar olsunlar diye. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biliyorum ki vars\u0131n. Hi\u00e7 gitmeyeceksin. Ama gel de bunu benim avutulmaz, korkak kalbime anlat!..<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
15.Kas\u0131m.2021, Pazartesi. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Herkesin kendine yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 kusursuz bir ka\u00e7ma alan\u0131 var bence. Ger\u00e7ek olmayan ama kozas\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inde kendini \u2018oldu\u011fu gibi\u2019 ve konforlu hissetti\u011fi. Hi\u00e7bir maskesini […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1985,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1982","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1982","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1982"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1982\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1995,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1982\/revisions\/1995"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1985"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.burcutarhan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Annemin 68 ya\u015f\u0131nda oldu\u011funu fark etti\u011fim g\u00fcn.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n